How I know I'm not in Israel

On this day one month ago, I flew back to the States from a semester in Israel. To commemorate this first month back, a quick list of how I know I've really left:

1. After landing at JFK Airport, it rained on and off for three weeks, something that has and will never happen anywhere in the Middle East.
2. David Ortiz starting hitting the ball exactly when I came back. Case in point: Papi's first at bat I watched was a homer to deep right-center. Yes, I would like to try some of your new, mango salsa.
3. My sister in law gave birth to a beautiful girl (named Ayelet Batya)! This was something that was not allowed to happen until I flew back.
4. I have redeveloped my late night food purchasing habits in the city, something that simply was not available in my sleepy town of 10,000.
   
5. I started hitting on girls in English again. In Israel, all of my Israeli guy friends told me I would have a much better success rate if I spoke to ladies in English or heavily accented Hebrew so it would be obvious I was an American, but as a matter of pride and principal I could never get myself to do that. Well, except for once or twice. Here I don't have the option.
6. I can watch movies on Hulu, shows on NBC, and listen to Pandora!
   
7. I celebrated July 4th by bbq'ing and then watching fire works on the Hudson. The last time I remember celebrating American Independence Day was when I was about six years old as a staff brat at Camp Ramah New England and I went with my dad, Hillel Konigsburg, and his parents (and maybe the Micah Tucker and fam, too?), to watch local-ish fireworks in a nearby town.
8. I have to skype and gchat and facebook message my friends in Be'er Sheva and Yerucham. True, it's better than nothing, but I just wish I could take my Metropoline #58 back and forth from home to school and see my buds.
9. Back in Natick, I would come back from hanging with home friends late at night, and there would be real food in the fridge. Like homecooked meals waiting for me to eat them. That was actually really awesome (and shortlived, as I've already been back in the city for a couple weeks).

Ok, I'm gonna cut this short as I am late to grab a cheap dinner with Daniel before we go see a movie screening produced/directed/written (dunno which of the three) by a Columbia professor Daniel has some sort of internship with.
Much love,
Jonah